Thursday, February 26, 2015

An Ode to Derrick Rose

Photo: ESPN

During the 4th quarter of Mavs/Raptors, the finale of last night's slate of NBA games, the Chicago Bulls announced Derrick Rose had (again) torn the meniscus in his right knee. At this stage in the "Derrick Rose Injury Timeline" I no longer feel both shocked and sad -- just the sad. My friends and I immediately tried to reconcile the meniscus tear as "not the worst type of knee injury", which I suppose is true. Surprisingly undeterred from the Rose news, we went on with our night. We watched the latest episode of "Better Call Saul", a prequel, spin-off of Breaking Bad, which I would recommend if you enjoyed the latter.

Afterward, when I crawled into bed, a notion I had been grappling with for much of this NBA season was cemented: Derrick Rose is done. So I did what any young, right-minded NBA fan would do: I grabbed a box of Kleenex, and wept through 50 minutes of 2008-2011 Derrick Rose YouTube clips. Here's my favorite:


Skip to 1:15. The PA announcer mentions the college of every other Bulls starter, but Rose, who's "Frommmmmmm CHICAGO." People forget that Rose is a homegrown product -- #1 overall pick from Simeon (same HS as Jabari Parker), Rose played in and started in 88 of 89 games in year one, 83 of 87 in year two, and 97 of 98 in year three. Rose won an MVP during LeBron's absolute prime -- and did so at the age of 22. To recap: I'm 22, and my greatest accomplishment to date is a DiMaggio-like, 16-day streak of consecutive days making my bed.

What you'll see in that embedded video above which I realize no one watched is the essence of prime Derrick Rose. He had this uncanny ability to find crevices in the defense and get the ball up on the rim amongst the trees. Remember he's only 6'2.5(!). The 40+ inch vertical also helped. A blow-by guy who made everything from 8 feet and in. I liked his jumper much more when he was younger because he could elevate and get a little more arc on an already naturally flat shot (in 2014-2015 it looked like he was trying to shoot a bowling ball). Rose was also the first guy that had opposing team's TV announcers saying "That's Your Point Guard?!?!"

When attacking the rim, DRose had this unique ability to violently protect the ball -- it's kind of hard to explain but restated: Rose often exploded into the paint seemingly out of control until the very moment he released the ball -- when the ball came softly out of his hands. He didn't need to slow down to shoot -- most guys can beat their guy off the dribble, but have to slow down a second before the release to gauge how much power to assign to that particular shot.

Last nostalgic video, I promise: Derrick Rose baptizing a young Goran Dragic. Ludicrous.


I'm fully aware I haven't yet shared any original, ground-breaking news or analysis with regard to Derrick Rose. But here's my one theory: losing Derrick Rose is mitigated by the fact that we have Russell Westbrook -- another, 6'3-ish, gravity-defying point guard who, like Rose, is also more often a recipient of alley oops than any other PG in recent memory. Obviously, no one is happy about Rose's injury-laden career, but he became semi-exposable when Westbrook ascended to a top 5 player at his position. Derrick Rose was doing Russell Westbrook things before Russell Westbrook.

At the end of the day, Rose is 26 years old. I would love if -- against all odds -- Rose salvaged his über promising early career with a title or two in the next decade. But perhaps it was too good to be true: a hometown kid and mind-numbing athlete, with an on-court disposition that rubbed few (if any) the wrong way, couldn't stay on the court. Godspeed, #1. 


Monday, February 2, 2015

NBA Gambling Nightmare Counterparts

In a parallel universe where gambling is legal, have you ever felt confident about a wager until Player X comes in off the bench and shoots (and makes) shots that make you think that a) there are actually Gambling Gods and b) that they are laughing derisively down at you while they high-five each other? I've identified four guys who are loosely characterized by the following: supremely talented & skilled, athletic, have played on many different teams, streaky shooters, and finally, complete dumbasses. But that's both why we love/hate them! And, why they continue to shoot shots that I wouldn't dare attempt in a gym by myself with the basket lowered to 8 feet: because sometimes these shots go in.

Jamal Crawford -- G/F Los Angeles Clippers -- The 4-Point Play G.O.A.T

I wanted to start with JCrossover because I consider him the least streaky of the bunch. As in, I am less angry when he starts doing Jamal Crawford things in large part because he played college hoops in Ann Arbor. The real reason he's the most consistently viable player on this list is because he gets to the foul-line around four times per contest. Crawford has incredible handles; his signature move lives here: R.I.P Kirk Hinrich. The above notwithstanding, when Crawford ignites the crowd with a 4-point play and completely alters the dynamic of a game, and you're inevitably on the wrong end of that exchange, it can be very frustrating.

Nate Robinson -- G Denver Nuggets -- Former Dunk Contest Champ

Remember when Nate Robinson erupted for 23 4th quarter points to give the Derrick Rose-less Bulls a 3-1 series lead over Brooklyn in the first round of the 2013 NBA Playoffs? If you don't, here's a refresher. Nate has drifted into anonymity because the Nuggets are borderline unwatchable, but a few outlets have indicated that Robinson may be a Clipper by season's end. So let's put him on the backburner until then.

J.R. Smith -- G Cleveland Cavaliers -- "When In Doubt, Shoot It"


Sadly, J.R. is leaving "Gambling Nightmare" status behind, and has evolved almost exclusively into a spot-up shooter. In just 14 games with Cleveland, Smith has hoisted 113 three-pointers (!). As the embedded video above shows, J.R. has stupid athleticism, but also in his quiver is an effortless jumper. He's streaky, sure, but seemingly in any game I wager against J.R., he gets hot. Smith's game itself may not be as entertaining going forward as it once was, but if the Cavs make a run, I very much look forward to listening Smith's post-game commentary. Dude is a treasure.

Gerald Green -- G/F Phoenix Suns -- (Another) Former Dunk Contest Champ

Go have some fun with Gerald Green on YouTube. Green is probably best known for his insane bounce, but he's also shooting 38% from 3 on a ton of attempts (only 8 players in the NBA have attempted more). And I would still argue Green is a better shooter than his percentage indicates. To me, Green is the undisputed "Gambling Nightmare" guy because he takes and makes shots that cannot be topped on the Degree of Difficulty scale. Bottom line.

Honorable Mention: Lou Williams (G--Toronto Raptors)